John Maradik

The Monk on TV

I called my girlfriend over
to look at the monk on TV
"I wouldn't be caught dead
setting myself on fire
like that," she said
the monk's face looked still
as the flames engulfed him
"Let alone fly all the way to Tibet," she said
his corpse flopped over
"It gets on my nerves," she said
a group of nuns stood around the monk
"Are you all right?" she asked
"Yeah, I'm really good," I said
I stared into the faces of the nuns
I stared into their simple faces
proudly, they stood over
their charred, disfigured friend
"I don't think it's good for you
to watch this much TV," my girlfriend said
"How much smoke can come
out of one person's body?" I asked
"You're scaring me," she said "you've been
watching TV for six days straight"
"And counting," I said
the monk's spirit was going to climb
out of his body any minute now
I wasn't going to miss this
my girlfriend grabbed my head
"You have a terrible fever," she said
"And you're high. How high are you?"
I didn't know
and it wasn't my problem
I was from a separate universe
a bad kind of universe
where the people are all bad
the monks are perverts
and I am their savior

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